I used to live there.

   I used to live there. In 2013 I took a leap of faith and moved with my husband to that apartment on the 19th floor. The one with the curtains on the balcony. I gave birth to my daughter shortly thereafter in this country of Panama. Although now I only live two buildings over, that apartment is a lifetime away.
   I know this blog is supposed to be my happy place, and I promised myself to record only good things. I have good days and bad days. I am having a bad day. After finally being awarded child support by the Panamanian courts (after 8 months of fighting) I felt a sense of relief. Now at least my immediate bills like rent and food would be covered. A lot less to worry about. That was short lived. Today, Alyn is now 2 days late on his third payment. Has he decided not to pay anymore? How will I survive? How can he be so cruel? He even told me that he hoped I would be deported. I fear he is trying to wait me out until my money runs out and I will have to leave Panama without Elizabeth. He has DEEP pockets. I do not. Is he planning something new? The lawyer bills are already huge. I am terrified.

What else is he capable of? He even kept my dog. MY dog that I had for 5 years before we even met and married.

I truly feel he has no human emotions or compassion. How can you take a mother away from a young child? Elizabeth had just turned 2 when this nightmare began. Every day I PRAY that the courts will see through his lies, and see him for the monster he is. I need to hang in there until that days comes and I get custody. Luckily I have the truth on my side. The false charges he filed against me were all dropped. He is going to Trial for domestic abuse. Surely they would not give custody to an abusive, evil monster, right? I am so grateful for the support of my family. They give me the strength to fight! I can not say that enough. I am so very grateful for the support of my wonderful family.

OK. Sad time is over. No more self pity. It is donut time.